How to Stop Comparing....
Or, at least, how to compare less. ;-)
We all do it. We see the child who never seems tired and wonder why ours is. We see the mom who actually took a shower and we feel, well, really dirty. ;) We see the vacations and the endless activities, all with those big smiles, and we hope someone will post a flu photo instead.
But it's such a waste of time if misused. And we don't get anything good out of it at all when we are comparing to something greater because it ends up steeping us in a lack mentality.
So what can we do to stop comparing everything we do with others? Because, let's face it, it isn't comparing to compliment ourselves. We are mostly comparing just to conclude that we are enough, don’t do enough, or don’t have enough.
Here are 3 ways to take comparison and turn it into a useful too to self-create:
Be Happy for Them: See someone doing something you wish you were doing or going somewhere you wish you were? Instead of feeling bummed, fill yourself with celebratory, happy energy. Be excited for your friend as if it were you in Maui. Be happy for your former co-worker and fill yourself with he love of just having met your soul mate. Michael Bernard Beckwith is awesome. (Super Soul Sunday interview with Oprah here). And he has this great guided meditation - available here - to help foster feelings that uplift us and bring us to a better vibration, moving us away from seeing what we may lack in our lives and focusing on positive energy around what we wish for. I will be honest, at first I was sort of overwhelmed by the inspired exuberance of Beckwith’s voice, but it actually carries a very powerful energy that sends me into a different emotional, and thereby spiritual, space. But you don’t need a guided meditation to feel happy for others. If you practice harnessing a feeling of complete joy from some part of your life and transfer it to what you are wanted or reacting to, you are in charge of how you react. We are all connected. Your joy for others is your joy for yourself, but make it a generous joy. Doing any spiritual practice or manifesting or gratitude practice to feed our ego and put us above others or make us better than others really doesn’t work long term. Being happy for others, being nonjudgement, etc. are all things you can send out knowing that those emotions raise your vibration and ease your stress levels, improving your physical and mental health.
Imagine Yourself There: Want the lovey dovey engagement? ;) Want the beach vacation? When you see photos on your feed and they create a feeling of longing in you, it signifies lack once again. How can you change that? Feel the feelings of being at that place that you long for. Don’t imagine wanting it or seeing it in the future. Learn, with practice, to feel as if it already exists in your life. It takes some practice to get from thinking of something in the future to feeling it in the present when your senses clearly tell you perfect health isn’t in your sick body. But daily practice of feeling the thing you want as if it were already here will pay off in the long run. The key to getting from where you are to where you would like to be is fffeeeeelllllinng great now. Imagining yourself in the perfect, happy state brings about good feelings. Visualization is a power practice and our subconscious may not even be able to tell if we are actually on the beach or visualizing ourselves on the beach. So practice visualizing and your will see more opportunities to bring what you are gawking at on social media into your own life. To visualize, you can practice pretty much any time or anywhere, in traffic, in line at the store, while meditating. Use your senses to bring about a true feeling of the dream being your present reality. This practice brings about a sense of naturalness with time that help bring your dreams into your actual reality. Be consistent and not only will you feel better, but your life will begin to look better too. For a great guide on these practices, check our Dr. Wayne Dyer’s Wishes Fulfilled book here.
Remind Yourself What Good You Have in You and Your Life: Gratitude, baby. It is very easy to see ad live from lack. I mean, a to do list that has things undone on it signifies an example of what’s not yet done. Being enough can’t come from outside because we are growing beings, both physically and spiritually, so we will always have things left to do, try, develop, experience, etc. When struck by what someone has that you don’t have YET, realize that your recognition of it is the beginning of deciding if you’d like to see it in your life. There is often a gap between what you see and what next level you’d like to live your life from. Be sure not to use that gap as a measuring stick to see what’s missing or how far you have left to go. See it instead as a sign from your intuitive universal God-like self that this is your next level of expression and appreciate it as a gift that let’s you know what is next for you. Be grateful for what you have and then be grateful for what you are seeking as if you already have it. This complete gratitude practice will help you bring your next level of radiating to fruition faster.
I recently had a break up and make up experience with social media myself. I am sure a lot of us have. While if we come to social media feeds with a negative mindset, they can be depleting, if we see them as a means to spread joy, kindness, and celebration, they can be a tool to help increase our own vibration and expression in a myriad of ways.
A key part of getting from where you are to where you envision yourself is to feel great as much as possible, so be sure to hop on and off those feeds only when you are feeling good. If you are zapped by something while you scroll, get off for now. Do a quick breathing or mantra practice to restore some balanced energy and try again later.
Much love to you, Xoxo,