the glass is full

It is far too easy to focus on what you still haven’t finished or haven’t achieved. 

But much  healthier to stop & appreciate how far you’ve come. 

Make a list of all you have done lately. Make the list in your head, or, better yet, on paper so you can read it when ya need a pick-me-up. 
While you’re at it, write yourself a pep talk & a love letter too. 🙂 ✨✨

my reading list

I was asked about my favorite spiritual/personal growth reads, and while these are almost all older books, they were, for me, the most transformative. Please put your favorites in the comments below! I am always searching for the next inspirational read. 💕

1. Wishes Fulfilled, Dr. Wayne Dyer 

2. You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay 

3. Start Where You Are, Pema Chodron 

4. Before Happiness, Shawn Achor 

5. A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle 

6. The I AM Discourses, Saint Germain 

7. The Inner Game of Tennis, W. Timothy Gallwey

8. The Mood Cure, Julia Ross

9. The Law of Attraction, Esther and Jerry Hicks 

10. Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsch 

If there were ever a time to let ourselves be moved & uplifted by timeless teachings, it’s now…

Your turn! 🙂 ✨✨✨

using the power of visualization to realize your goal

naturalness? what’s that??

I love Wayne Dyer. I have for years. He’s my perfect guru and my connection to universal creative energy. 

In one of his awesome books, he talks about the concept of “naturalness,” meaning our dreams manifest when we believe & feel, and the dream feels natural. 

The process of turning dreams into reality pro idea the opportunity to clear all obstacles to success, doubts, biases, fears. If you imagine living your goal now, if you envision the reality of it and feel blocked from the goal feeling natural, you have an opportunity to clear another obstacle.

I don’t really believe that we need to bring up, hash out & resolve all our areas of resistance, doubt and fears. Unless it’s really huge, when we experience a feeling like our goal is hard to believe, all we really need to do is make time to cultivate naturalness.

So how do we cultivate naturalness? Here are some ideas:

Visualize it. Take time at least once or twice a day to meditate on your goals. Setting your alarm 20 minutes earlier creates time before your busy day, bedtime is an amazingly useful time to cultivate the naturalness of your goals. Stating your goal is great, but we are seeking the emotions that having your goal brings. So steer away from wanting or wishing and feel the confidence, happiness, knowingness, the belief you are already what you seek. Meditating on and visual and emotional image of how it will be when your goal is achieved not only helps to stay focused, it helps you see the opportunities that will get you where you want to be. 

Push through doubt. The more you switch a doubt to a faithful affirmation that your dream is a reality, the sooner you will create a habit of believing in the naturalness of your goal. What in your life do you believe is true without a doubt? Believe you are a great friend? That belief evolved through concrete examples and became a fact in your mind, a fact you no longer question. Now, we are speeding up the process and believing based on imagined evidence, but with work this practice will feel true and become your reality. Be your own cheerleader and friend. Encourage and affirm. All day. Every day.

Feel joy. The biggest part of creating and attracting your goal without frantically chasing it is joy. Have fun. It keeps you relaxed and happy. And increases feelings of love. This energy is super useful and effective. 

Take action. Sometimes the biggest obstacle we have to feeling the feelings of being there already is that we haven’t even begun. Don’t wait for the perfect plan, strategy or time. Begin. Once you start, it’s easier to feel the final destination is a reality. We can learn as we go, implement new strategies anytime. Once we begin, our imagination has more to work with.

Take time to practice feeling your goal as a present fact until it feels natural. The more often you practice and the sooner you connect with the feelings surrounding what you seek, the sooner you will make it your happy present. ✨✨✨

3 things about fear

Fear, and it’s first cousin doubt, waste a lot of our time. The can block us from beginning something new, delay growth and create anxiety. Obviously I’m not talking about fear as a result of an actual threat here. I’m talking the mind-trick kind of fear. Here are three facts about fear:

1. Fear is simply resistance to change. It isn’t a judgement on whether the change is good or bad. With that said, the bigger the change, likely, the greater the fear.

2. While it’s accompanied by nervous tummies, sweaty palms or even extra adrenaline, fear is no greater an emotion than any other. Meaning, although it likes to act important, it really isn’t. It’s carries as much weight as love and happiness and no more.

3. Fear is energy. Imagine if we didn’t attach any meaning to fear. It would simply be an energetic state like excitement or joy. If we clue into the energy and out of the thoughts or importance we place on fear, we might realize it isn’t as show-stopping as it seems.

Coming soon, what to do when fears take over. In the meantime, imagine what your life would look and feel like without fear. Pretty nice, huh? ✨✨✨ 

morning mantras

Here’s what came up in my meditation today. Hope they resonate & uplift you this AM….. 💕

I am creating my perfect life.

I am embracing happiness as my natural state.

I am focused on my goals and know they are already my reality.

I am content knowing the universe supports me in whatever I do.

I am deserving of big dreams that uplift myself and others.

I am an ever-changing being who cultivates new energetic states that create balance in my mind & body. 

8 things I know about you

I’ve been giving myself constant pep talks lately. I’ve asked, if not me then who? I’ve told myself over and over to own my power. I’ve reminded myself that God is within me, and that I am the entire universe. I’ve meditated to invoke my highest good. And this – THIS – is what I know for sure. If we can’t shower our very own selves with oodles of adoration, then we are holding back some part of our light. If we can’t love ourselves so fully that we believe all the kind words received by others & ourselves, then we’ve blocked our greatness from lighting up the world, and it is each of us in our complete lightness that will truly change our world for the better.

Ok. Now that I’ve gotten down from my soapbox ;), here is your “ten things I know about you” pep talk:

  • You are just as worthy as those who already have what you want.
  • Your divinity is real and it is worth sharing with the world.
  • You are enough and you always have been.
  • You have gifts of greatness in you. You deserve to share them. 
  • Your mistakes are no worse than anyone else’s. Let yourself off the hook. You are worthy of forgiveness.
  • You are ready to shift your focus from your flaws to your perfection.
  • You are here to change the world by changing yours.
  • You love yourself fully and completely. Everything else is a fallacy. 

Now go forth and love yourself. You are more than the sum of your human faults. ✨✨

What to do when our ego takes it personally

We are human so we take things personally. We feel hurt or threatened and we reflexively fight back. We insult the other person to make ourselves feel better. We insult ourselves to confirm our flaws. Although it’s a very automatic & human response, it doesn’t need to be consuming or spread like wildfire, damaging our relationships. 

When someone says something that hurts our feelings, it means we’ve even given them too much power over us, or we care about their opinion of us and their words carry more weight and a greater ability to impact us – positively or negatively. 

When you’ve taken another’s words personally, try these tips:

  1. Don’t vent too much. A little venting often feels required, and that’s normal. Too much venting? Not so good. If we vent too much, we are more likely to insult the other person back in an effort to validate our hurt feeling. We also continue putting our energy into a negative pursuit, which begets more negative energy. Keep it short and sweet. Keep breathing. The less we stir the pot, the sooner we can move on.
  2. Don’t respond right away. When we’re hurt and we have our back, we want to defend ourselves, share our side of the story. This is a great sign. But, hitting pause allows us to calm down, choose what, if anything, we want to say and how we’d like to respond. Take time to calm down, as long as it takes. By setting a timer or giving it 24 hours, you give yourself the power you feel you lost, the power to have greater control over the outcome of the situation.
  3. Choose your battles. Self-explanatory, right? By expecting another person to handle every situation perfectly, we create unreasonable expectations for both the other person and for ourselves. When we expect perfection from others and get slighted every time they fall short, we getting higher and higher on our own horse, feigning superiority. The pressure we put on both sides dooms us to relationship failure. Make sure you really need to be upset or speak up before you actually do. 

Next time your ego gets overexcited, hit pause and get control back. Taking the ego out of the driver’s seat may be the only way to truly engage in more fulfilling relationships. ✨✨✨

how to restore connection in relationships

I recently had an encounter with a friend where she told me how something I was doing in the friendship was not working for her. I was sick and dealing with a fussy kid that day and in need of a restorative time and instead of my needs being met even part way, I was asked to put her feelings first at a time when I felt stretched thin.

At first it was hard. She started listing grievances and I wasn’t hurt or defensive, I was more just annoyed. I always feel strongly that what we focus on in relationships is a choice. We can all point out flaws, annoyances, offenses, but I often feel this only makes others feel unappreciated and not good enough. When I feel myself reciting a list of grievances, I switch to a list of things to be thankful for, the things that have been done rather than undone.
But, I was being asked for something different. I was being given the opportunity to honor the fact that my friend was bothered and didn’t feel honored in some way. My job was to listen and reflect my understanding. I was being asked for full presence. What I thought of the situation was something I could figure out later. 

It was tough, but necessary. I was sick and tired and impatient at first. But I wanted her to see that I heard her, that her light was being honored. I worked to put my own things aside, reassure her that I was still going to be present even after our discussion and that things were alright. I was given the opportunity to serve.

What I thought about it, dealing with my feelings and choosing what I wanted to do with the relationship would come later. 
And later, I was confused as to what to do so I waited. It isn’t that I’ve ever been afraid of conflict, it’s that separation has always felt wrong. Even when I’ve decided to end a friendship, I’ve wanted to do some with a lot of love in mind. 😉 
If I decided this friendship was no longer serving me, I could make peace with that, but how could I do something like that in the most loving and respectful way possible? 

I waited for a sign. 

The sign came while listening to the latest audiobook by Gabrielle Bernstein, The Universe Has Your Back. She spoke words that set me free, words that resonates with my spirit. She said, to paraphrase, meet this person again for the first time. The words filled me with love. 

Could I really hit reset on the whole entire thing? For me, the answer was yes. 
Resetting my perspective freed me instantly and accelerated healing. Quickly, I was able to regain and loving, joy-filled energy and project that into the relationship. It set her at ease, too. 
Now this doesn’t mean all relationships are meant to be saved, but it does mean that if we walk away, we can walk away with love. 

Next time you hit a bump in a relationship, try two things:
Focus on the positive. Express gratitude for what is in the relationship instead of what isn’t. 

Meet the person again for the first time. Marianne Williamson calls it something like Jesus meeting Jesus. For yogis, it’s a namaste thing put into practice off the mat. 

When you need guidance, ask for it. Then await the answer. It always comes. ✨✨

power of presence

I haven’t woken up early and meditated in a couple of mornings because I haven’t felt well. I opened @gabbybernstein ‘s latest book, #theuniversehasyourback to a random page and immediately read a reminder on the power of presence. There are many ways to tune into our energy and many reasons why. It’s the difference between a productive day and a blah one, the chance to connect in a relationship or leave longing for connection. More than this, our energy creates everything in our lives. Cultivating it is never a waste of time. ✨✨ #spiritjunkie

beginning a self-love practice 

When was the last time you told yourself that you love you? 

When was the last time you thanked yourself for all your hard work?

When was the last time you looked back and stood in awe of how far you’ve come? 

While it may seem silly, the things you tell others? Tell them to yourself. We all love hearing words of appreciation, compliments. It feels great. It fills us up. Doing this for ourselves does several totally important things. 

  • It reminds us we can look inside to find fulfillment rather than depending on others to recognize our efforts.
  • It fosters our self-love, which is not a selfish, self-absorbed or indulgent thing at all. Feeling love for ourselves frees us from using others’ flaws to pump ourselves up, or using their successes to feed feelings of inadequacy – only then to have to compensate for feeling inadequate. 😉 
  • It makes us feel good and valued and can be done whenever we feel discouraged or doubtful. 

At first this practice may be very awkward. If we’ve fed the critical parent in our heads too much, we may hear a lot of backlash when we begin bestowing compliments and gratitude on ourselves. Endure this resistance and keep practicing. An unconditional self-love is the only foundation on which we can build lasting peace and bliss throughout our lives for real. 

When we begin to reach a new level of awareness and really hear the voice inside us that’s full of self-doubt and fear, it can be overwhelming. But there’s no need to arm wrestle with your thoughts. Instead, pick three or more times a day when you will commit to a self-love practice. My favorites are in line at the store, when I’m stuck in traffic and before bed. 

It won’t be long before you begin to develop a nurturing relationship with yourself instead of a critical one. When this happens, you will begin to know a peace that comforts you no matter what you are facing. Try it. Better yet, look yourself in the eye in the mirror and try it. 😉 Of all the people in the world, you deserve your love most of all. ✨✨