using the power of visualization to realize your goal

naturalness? what’s that??

I love Wayne Dyer. I have for years. He’s my perfect guru and my connection to universal creative energy. 

In one of his awesome books, he talks about the concept of “naturalness,” meaning our dreams manifest when we believe & feel, and the dream feels natural. 

The process of turning dreams into reality pro idea the opportunity to clear all obstacles to success, doubts, biases, fears. If you imagine living your goal now, if you envision the reality of it and feel blocked from the goal feeling natural, you have an opportunity to clear another obstacle.

I don’t really believe that we need to bring up, hash out & resolve all our areas of resistance, doubt and fears. Unless it’s really huge, when we experience a feeling like our goal is hard to believe, all we really need to do is make time to cultivate naturalness.

So how do we cultivate naturalness? Here are some ideas:

Visualize it. Take time at least once or twice a day to meditate on your goals. Setting your alarm 20 minutes earlier creates time before your busy day, bedtime is an amazingly useful time to cultivate the naturalness of your goals. Stating your goal is great, but we are seeking the emotions that having your goal brings. So steer away from wanting or wishing and feel the confidence, happiness, knowingness, the belief you are already what you seek. Meditating on and visual and emotional image of how it will be when your goal is achieved not only helps to stay focused, it helps you see the opportunities that will get you where you want to be. 

Push through doubt. The more you switch a doubt to a faithful affirmation that your dream is a reality, the sooner you will create a habit of believing in the naturalness of your goal. What in your life do you believe is true without a doubt? Believe you are a great friend? That belief evolved through concrete examples and became a fact in your mind, a fact you no longer question. Now, we are speeding up the process and believing based on imagined evidence, but with work this practice will feel true and become your reality. Be your own cheerleader and friend. Encourage and affirm. All day. Every day.

Feel joy. The biggest part of creating and attracting your goal without frantically chasing it is joy. Have fun. It keeps you relaxed and happy. And increases feelings of love. This energy is super useful and effective. 

Take action. Sometimes the biggest obstacle we have to feeling the feelings of being there already is that we haven’t even begun. Don’t wait for the perfect plan, strategy or time. Begin. Once you start, it’s easier to feel the final destination is a reality. We can learn as we go, implement new strategies anytime. Once we begin, our imagination has more to work with.

Take time to practice feeling your goal as a present fact until it feels natural. The more often you practice and the sooner you connect with the feelings surrounding what you seek, the sooner you will make it your happy present. ✨✨✨

and now, a shop :) 

I’ve taken the plunge to begin working for myself. For a very long time, I have put positive and uplifting graphics and posts on FB, IG & my blog. I have done it because I am passionate about the power of love, kindness & connection to change lives and uplift our world, a world that could use quite the hug lately. I have always felt odd about the for profit idea, one that comes way more naturally to the bold millennials who have inspired me.

While I also plan to generate enough blog traffic to host advertising, produce an ebook, and become a self-published and published author, I am offering organic skincare, aromatherapy and supplements because it is so completely consistent with my dozen-year passion for organics, alternative medicine & self-care. I have been researching and using supplements & oils for more than a decade as a complement to my daily meditation, gratitude, happiness-cultivating & kindness practices. 

So far my blog has been a loving expression of my complete faith in positive psychology and our power to energetically create the outcome of our lives. Missing has been my ability share my passion for health & wellness options that seem outside of current mainstream medicine. I have been reluctant to share these things because I am not a doctor or any kind of trained practitioner. But, I realize that my passion to uplift would be under-explored without sharing my other knowledge & experience. I will explore health & wellness more on my blog, and have chosen products I believe support my values and faith in alternative healing. 

In the next week or so, I am switching blog platforms and fleshing out how to integrate my business, and its inherent business opportunities, into my site. But in the meantime, I am moving forward with my “announcement.” I am offering Neal’s Yard Remedies, natural and organic health and beauty products, including organic skincare plus supplements & aromatherapy, as well as doTerra because of my firm belief in the power of aromatherapy and my personal, incessant use of oils, both externally and internally. 

Check out the links via the new Shop tab,

Wish me luck. 🙂 ✨✨✨

3 things about fear

Fear, and it’s first cousin doubt, waste a lot of our time. The can block us from beginning something new, delay growth and create anxiety. Obviously I’m not talking about fear as a result of an actual threat here. I’m talking the mind-trick kind of fear. Here are three facts about fear:

1. Fear is simply resistance to change. It isn’t a judgement on whether the change is good or bad. With that said, the bigger the change, likely, the greater the fear.

2. While it’s accompanied by nervous tummies, sweaty palms or even extra adrenaline, fear is no greater an emotion than any other. Meaning, although it likes to act important, it really isn’t. It’s carries as much weight as love and happiness and no more.

3. Fear is energy. Imagine if we didn’t attach any meaning to fear. It would simply be an energetic state like excitement or joy. If we clue into the energy and out of the thoughts or importance we place on fear, we might realize it isn’t as show-stopping as it seems.

Coming soon, what to do when fears take over. In the meantime, imagine what your life would look and feel like without fear. Pretty nice, huh? ✨✨✨ 

why lavender is quickly becoming my go-to remedy 

I’ve been busy lately, but more than that I been emotional. Maybe it’s a midlife thing, the changing hormones – *sigh* – that are leading me from one life stage to another. 

As I gear up for that new hormonal shift, I’ve become so aware of how much news and views 😉 have influenced my perception of what happens now. As girlfriends begin to hint at not feeling quite like themselves, I’ve been especially struck by, and concerned about, how inevitable misery is seen as an unavoidable guarantee. 

This time I won’t discuss hormone replacement, or, more importantly, bioidentical hormone replacement, but I can’t not 😉 mention that hormones aren’t awful things in the least. What I want to share is how lavender is helping me soothe already frayed emotions that are seemingly jarred by the aforementioned changes. 

Lavender is soothing for two reasons. First, it promotes GABA, which is incredibly relaxing without being sedating. I have used GABA and gaba-promoting supplements and herbs as needed for years, but after reading research about a lavender pill, I learned that lavender has a secret weapon, endorphins. 

While GABA calms, endorphins comfort. Taking supplements that promote endorphins compensates for the fact that endorphin-release from exercise is so short lived. 

I think of endorphin-boosting supplements or herbs as a warm blanket curled up on the couch. 🙂 They’re the fuzzy bunny slippers I imagine wearing all day when I just need to be soothed.

Of course lavender doesn’t need to be taken internally. GABA and endorphin augmenting benefits work even through inhaling the soothing herb, so whatever way works for you will work for your brain chemicals too. 

If you’re fried and have that “I want my mommy” kind of feeling ;), give lavender a try and you may find you are easily able to comfort yourself. ✨✨

More info:

Now Foods Lavender Oil, 1-Ounce

Nature’s Way Calm Aid Nature’s Way 30 Softgels

Reminder: I’m far from a doctor. I’m just someone who has researched any tried herbal supplements and amino acids for self-care for more than a decade. Do research with reliable sources and feel free to share you experiences. 💕

morning mantras

Here’s what came up in my meditation today. Hope they resonate & uplift you this AM….. 💕

I am creating my perfect life.

I am embracing happiness as my natural state.

I am focused on my goals and know they are already my reality.

I am content knowing the universe supports me in whatever I do.

I am deserving of big dreams that uplift myself and others.

I am an ever-changing being who cultivates new energetic states that create balance in my mind & body. 

8 things I know about you

I’ve been giving myself constant pep talks lately. I’ve asked, if not me then who? I’ve told myself over and over to own my power. I’ve reminded myself that God is within me, and that I am the entire universe. I’ve meditated to invoke my highest good. And this – THIS – is what I know for sure. If we can’t shower our very own selves with oodles of adoration, then we are holding back some part of our light. If we can’t love ourselves so fully that we believe all the kind words received by others & ourselves, then we’ve blocked our greatness from lighting up the world, and it is each of us in our complete lightness that will truly change our world for the better.

Ok. Now that I’ve gotten down from my soapbox ;), here is your “ten things I know about you” pep talk:

  • You are just as worthy as those who already have what you want.
  • Your divinity is real and it is worth sharing with the world.
  • You are enough and you always have been.
  • You have gifts of greatness in you. You deserve to share them. 
  • Your mistakes are no worse than anyone else’s. Let yourself off the hook. You are worthy of forgiveness.
  • You are ready to shift your focus from your flaws to your perfection.
  • You are here to change the world by changing yours.
  • You love yourself fully and completely. Everything else is a fallacy. 

Now go forth and love yourself. You are more than the sum of your human faults. ✨✨

practicing the art of authenticity 

When we’re young we follow. We follow directions, siblings, friends and parents. When we finally emerge and begin to wonder what we want and what we think, it can be quite a shock that we don’t really have much of a clue who we are. On the surface we know, but are these what we actually believe, or are they other people’s ideas about us that we came to believe we’re true? 

Growing up, everyone told me I was creative. I loved to write stories, but it was figuring out the plot and planning the story that I enjoyed more than finding the exact words and flowery descriptions. I believed that I was creative so deeply,mint impacted the activities I chose, my college major, my first internship and first post-college job. When I finally found myself doing technical writing and market research for work, I finally really enjoyed what I was doing. I also realized how plan-obsessive I was and how little patience I had for anything but efficiency. Getting in touch with a new and authentic part of me was liberating. 

At any age, it’s worthwhile to check in on what we believe about ourselves not only to see whether or not it is authentic to us, but also to see whether or not it’s what we want anymore. Here are some ideas on how to best manage honing in on your true self and staying focused on it thru life’s copious distractions:

  • Ask yourself some questions: What do I want? What do I spend most of my time reading, doing & thinking about – other than my to do list ;)? Looking beyond milestones like birth of a child, marriage, graduation, what are the top 3-5 happiest times in your life? Consider who you were with, where you were and what you were doing. 💕
  • Assess your priorities: Run through each area of your life, work, family, friends, hobbies, free time. Estimate the percentage of time placed on each. Now write down the percentage you wish you were able to spend on each category. This is your list of priorities. Now ask yourself what you can do to shift your time accordingly. You may not be able to change things entirely now, but think creatively and ambitiously. It may be more realistic than you think. 💕
  • Manage your time & your thoughts: So obviously this is how any changes truly happen. And it can be hard to focus when we are crazy busy. If you’ve written down your priorities, look at them at least once a day. Check in with yourself a few times a day, even set an alarm. Ask yourself what you want time for and what can wait until later. Remember which tasks are easy to do and quick. What can you do in line at the store? What takes the most energy and is best done in the morning? Create mantras and reminders to center your thoughts on your new priorities. Soon enough, you’ll have created new habits and begun new plans. 💕

If you exercise or meditate, this is obviously a great time to revisit your true self. If you are stuck in traffic or in the carpool line, it’s just as effective. Either way, stopping even for a minute to consider how authentic the life you’re living is is already a worthwhile accomplishment. ✨✨✨

What to do when our ego takes it personally

We are human so we take things personally. We feel hurt or threatened and we reflexively fight back. We insult the other person to make ourselves feel better. We insult ourselves to confirm our flaws. Although it’s a very automatic & human response, it doesn’t need to be consuming or spread like wildfire, damaging our relationships. 

When someone says something that hurts our feelings, it means we’ve even given them too much power over us, or we care about their opinion of us and their words carry more weight and a greater ability to impact us – positively or negatively. 

When you’ve taken another’s words personally, try these tips:

  1. Don’t vent too much. A little venting often feels required, and that’s normal. Too much venting? Not so good. If we vent too much, we are more likely to insult the other person back in an effort to validate our hurt feeling. We also continue putting our energy into a negative pursuit, which begets more negative energy. Keep it short and sweet. Keep breathing. The less we stir the pot, the sooner we can move on.
  2. Don’t respond right away. When we’re hurt and we have our back, we want to defend ourselves, share our side of the story. This is a great sign. But, hitting pause allows us to calm down, choose what, if anything, we want to say and how we’d like to respond. Take time to calm down, as long as it takes. By setting a timer or giving it 24 hours, you give yourself the power you feel you lost, the power to have greater control over the outcome of the situation.
  3. Choose your battles. Self-explanatory, right? By expecting another person to handle every situation perfectly, we create unreasonable expectations for both the other person and for ourselves. When we expect perfection from others and get slighted every time they fall short, we getting higher and higher on our own horse, feigning superiority. The pressure we put on both sides dooms us to relationship failure. Make sure you really need to be upset or speak up before you actually do. 

Next time your ego gets overexcited, hit pause and get control back. Taking the ego out of the driver’s seat may be the only way to truly engage in more fulfilling relationships. ✨✨✨

don’t let your judgements define someone

It is human nature to have catty thoughts about someone. You may perceive someone as better than you or wealthier or prettier or more together. Your ego feels inferior, so in your mind a voice starts finding flaws in the other person. 

I understand completely that, as Dr. Wayne Dyer says, if we do not like our thought we may pick another off the endless conveyor belt of thoughts. The thing is, this isn’t something we can really do every second of every day. The thoughts are incessant and I have long chased them, but have found that being selective about that process is a more efficient strategy. 

The real deal with judgement is not to let it become the truth for you or for anyone else. Even judging others as having the perfect life sets us up for creating separation between us and others, and separation is never a good thing. Learning that thoughts are not facts, that they are not always true, is a valuable lesson to remember. 

Everyone carries a story. Everyone knows pain and sadness, loss and love. We’ve all made mistakes and had amazing successes. Every one of us is strong and deserving of a chance, and, often, a second chance. 

When we do human things like judge others, the only true mistake is to think that our perceptions are the sum total of who this person is and then to act according to our narrow view. 

Next time you are caught up in the musings of your threatened ego, don’t judge yourself. Pause. Give yourself time to recenter. Remind yourself that the compassion and connection you seek is what the other person longs for also. 

when joy is not your default setting 

I have always been serious. That’s probably why ballet was perfect for me and so were AP classes. It’s why I could sit and read and study without complaint, why soul searching became a singular quest for me for a decade. 

Yet I also think it’s part of the reason struggle seemed so normal to me. Why I thought things needed to be wrestled with, analyzed, completely and utterly dissected and figured out. 

In my natural seriousness, I found ease totally incongruent. Joy was not my default setting, and as such, for an extremely long time, it felt like wearing a glove in the wrong hand.

Learning to trust happiness and things that felt easy took time. Even now, while an have worked through any feelings of unworthiness, it’s still a bit unnatural for me to relax into the good stuff.

On my soul search, I’ve repeatedly been reminded of the creative power of joy and ease as an intuitive guide. When we feel in flow, things flow. 😉 When we block ourselves with separation or fear or anger, things begin to unravel. Yet, I still have to consciously remind myself that happiness is not a selfish thing to pursue.

If this resonates with you, unlearning struggle is a practice, but an easy one. When something feels difficult, pause and be sure it is something you have to do or if you can choose a path more in flow with your inner peace. When faced with decisions, ask yourself which choice will bring the most joy. Follow that path until it begins to feel like your natural state because it is. ✨✨