We are obligated to fulfill roles in our lives. We may be bosses, co-workers, daughters, father, teachers, wives and/or moms… We enter into each of these roles with a set of ideas about what they mean, how we are supposed to behave, speak, stand, look and give. But in how many of these roles and relationships are we authentic?
Between the preconceived parameters we enter into our roles with and whatever dynamic we develop within or relationships, we can easily lose sight of who we are. This can case serious tension in relationships between the unspoken expectations we have (like we may expect a husband to do things our father did) and the pressure to perform our role perfectly (think Pinterest-worthy males, flawlessly dressed and behaved children, manicured yards and airy white houses that are forever Oxycleaned).
So what do we do? Here are 3 little things on relationships:
⭐️ Enter into each relationship aware of your expectations. See what you are brining into the role and relationship. Decide what’s really important to you. Decide what you can let go of. The less your expectations – beyond essentials of respect, commitment, etc. – the more the roles & relationships can evolve naturally.
⭐️ Reject the role. Ever had a boss who doesn’t really seem like a boss at all? Ever met that relaxed parent who doesn’t seem to be teaching her children anything and yet her kids are well-adjusted & happy? Ever wanted to be like that? Things work better when we are real. When we act from a place of presence & authenticity, we are much more likely to be right and to be listened to. Like with parenting, consistency is supposed to be so vital, but rigidity and inflexibility lead our child to be disempowered and ourselves to feel like dictators damaging the bonds we spend so much time strengthening. Yes, we have to set and keep rules, and we should coach, but most likely it’s a lot less often than we think.
⭐️ Don’t enter martyrdom. Don’t work your roles like they’re your identity, handing your self-worth over to endlessly fulfill your jobs flawlessly. Your relentless self-sacrifice is both damaging to you, enabling to others & often the kiss of death for your relationships. Seek balance, truth & wellness in all that you do.
Light & love. Xo, Liz ✨💕