For me, though, getting it all out is counterproductive. I can literally go on & on for hours. Once I’m in the heat of my emotions, stopping is difficult. More than this, on an energetic level, I am putting out shit energy and then bracing myself for when it comes back to me. There is no level on which being catty, judgmental – or stirring up a case by which my upset is someone else’s fault – feels right.
Still, there may be moments where we really do want to get something out and we aren’t being petty or touchy; we are being real. The question is, when and how to move on.
Thankfully, my venting is much improved and way more selective. Here are some ideas to help you keep your venting in check:
1. Set a timer. No joke. It was the first thing I did to teach myself to move on. It’s good practice.
2. Don’t pick up the phone. Write it down instead. Set the timer. Write without stopping. When you’re finished, rip it up into pieces and recycle it. Then, reset the timer and reset your positive vibe by writing about good stuff.
3. Wait. This is so useful in relationships too. Have something to say in the heat of the emotional moment? Back to the timer. Give yourself fifteen minutes, sometimes longer. Then see what about the situation is still important to you. Now that you’re calmer, you can be calmer about how you handle it.
We’re all human. Cooler heads won’t always prevail. With practice, though, we can minimize the energetic impact and react to things from more constructive space, while still making room for the occasional two-year old meltdown because it really does feel good sometimes. 😉