sometimes positive thinking just isn’t enough

imageWhen I moved from a semi-happy existence in suburban Atlanta to the warmth, sun & gorgeous beaches of SoCal, I thought I’d finally be “there,” you know, that place of peace, happiness & eternal equilibrium that we are always seeking? Yet, I got to Cali and, once the novelty and excitement began to dwindle, there I was, back “there,” in almost the same place & the same me I was in ATL.

Sure I’d spent a successful decade improving myself and my life in a myriad of really helpful ways over the years through meditation, yoga, positive psychology & nutrition, but it wasn’t enough for me. No matter how happy I thought I was, I knew my real bliss remained untapped.

My body was exhausted again with the stress of the cross-country transition. I was frustrated and, honestly, deeply hopeless. I kept thinking how could I have spent all this time working on myself only to end up back in despair & dis-ease. It was a discouraging awakening.

But, unlike all the moments of awakening that came before, this one was “the one,” the final step in a long & hard-fought journey. It taught me how valuable I was, how worthy I was. It taught me to forgive myself and heal my mind in a deeper, more lasting way.

Here’s the revelation. Sometimes we really can’t fix it all ourselves. Sometimes, it isn’t our fault.

In my 20s into my early 30s, I’d been to doctors seeking help. I got a bunch of suggested illnesses but no solutions. I am not at all implying doctors aren’t amazing healers. I just didn’t like giving someone else control over my healing, and with four out of state moves in nine years, I really didn’t want to have to keep beginning again with each transition.

Staring at 40, I finally found the two resources I needed, two professional who take mental & physical health and blend it with what I found to be great nutritional advice. Along with years of reading research studies, I educated myself with Julia Ross’ The Mood Cure & Dr. Mark Hyman’s site and decided to embrace my approach to being my own healing coach. I began with the really eye-opening survey on http://www.moodcure.com and scored ridiculously high in nearly each category and thus began we climb out of my remaining health chaos and into my final stage of healing.

I completely know that without doing the personal work I did over the last ten years, balancing brain chemicals and healing nutritional deficiencies still wouldn’t have been enough to give me all the skills I have to know without a shred of doubt that I can handle anything, but without the final drive to bring my body together with my mind, I would still be on shaky ground.

I am not a doctor, naturopath or even a health coach, and each person knows in which direction their path is leading them, but I feel that to fully own and share my story in hopes of helping others stay connected with their path, I have to say that being my own health advocate for the past 18 months has been the icing on my cake.

If you have connected all the pieces to your puzzle already, thank you for being an inspiration to those around you. If you are still working on your puzzle, you are not, and you are never, alone.

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